Just Show Me The Truth

“Truth – Depending on the person or oganisation this definition varies”

I’d like to thank the person on facebook, who shared a image of a razor company, giving very little expectations of their product.

You know what is winding me up lately?

TV ADVERTS! 

I am so sick of adverts aimed at women who hide the truth. For instance, a well know razor company have an advert where they say now a four times a closer shave. You then get a close up of a lady’s leg which is clearly very shaven and smooth, then she proceeds to shave the non exinsistant hair on her legs.

There is no hair, not even one. Just a smooth silky base.

WHAT ARE YOU SHAVING? REALLY? 

The air that surrounds your leg? 

Do I need a magnifying glass to see the tiny hair on the models leg?

Come on, we all know a woman’s leg grows hair, show me a product that does it’s job, show me a model with hair on her leg. Let me see the difference.

Errgh why are we still trying to shelter the real experiences away from people in the twenty first century?

Are companies so afraid of facing the truth, that they shy away from it?

Forget Valentines When’s Pancake Day?

“Valentines Day – A day for everyone to tell their significant other half just how much they love each other, not like the other 364 days in the year matter”

Ah so the day of love is upon us, and I have to say I don’t celebrate it.

Why?

Simply put it, I don’t need one day to tell my other half how much I love him, when I’ve been with him for almost 6 years and I’m happening to marry him in 5 months time. If he doesn’t realise I love him by now, then why an earth are we getting hitched?

We say I love you everyday and why does today have to be any different? My feelings for him don’t alter for one day, they have always been the same since day 1. If anything I love him more and more each day.

Now what I’m waiting for is PANCAKE DAY!!

Give me those luscious sweet pancakes, with lemon, strawberries, chocolate the lot. Yummy! I cannot wait!

Everyone loves pancake day its the best!!!!!

I can always vouch my love for pancakes and will happily celebrate that with pleasure!!

Only 6 days to go!!!!

Stages Of A Common Cold…

“Cold- A very, very, very silly viral disease, which British people can’t cope with”

I’m one of those people who can’t deal with a common cold. Currently still suffering with mine, but I’m gonna make it.

It’s funny because, on these cold and flu adverts, you get a image of guy or a women severely struggling. Then they have a sip or take some cold and flu relief tablets and it’s like they have instantly been cured!

What a load of bollocks!

I tell you how you it goes:

  1. The sniffles, your nose suddenly becomes a tap, that cannot be turned off. Before you know you’re drowning in tissues!
  2. Itchy throat – Ah yes, the “it feels like I haven’t had water in years” this is generally the part you say “Oh god I have a cold, where is the medicine?” in a desperate attempt to stop it.

Listen, if it’s in your system, it’s too late. You’re going to feel rough.

3. The aches – I hate these so much, it’s like I did an extreme work out at the gym everyday for a week. Lifting a pen becomes a struggle!

4. Full force sore throat – It’s landed. There’s no hope for you now, just crawl into bed, drink some day nurse, or night nurse and sleep. Sleep for days. I literally didn’t move from my bed for four days!

5. The annoying wont go away cough – I’m at this stage! The tickly cough that just loves to happen at regular intervals for no apparent reason, whilst at the same time annoying everyone. And I mean everyone. There’s something irritating about a person who constantly coughs, and let’s all admit we all think ” just shut up, shut up, shut up, stop coughing now, have a drink, get some air do something other than cough germs out” 

My least favourite part of a cold, the fever. You’re too hot so you strip off, eat ice lollies and open windows, then your so cold you’re wearing 10 layers in order to gain heat.

Dont worry at some point there is light at the end of the tunnel, and just remember it’s okay to feel rough.

It’s also ok to admit you can’t open the child safety cap off the medicine.

I Solemnly Promise…

“Solemnly – Basically you’re taking an oath, and you’re promising the hell out of it”

I get it, I’m getting married and need to be prepared and organised.

Plan ahead, think first and delegate funds.

We have a spreadsheet, or two, or three, or four well maybe six. I’ve actually lost count, in all honesty. There’s just so many floating around, mentally screaming at me, when I go to buy a dress “nooo Danielle the spreadsheet said no”

“Shut up spreadsheet you’re not the boss of me”

I have nothing against the spreadsheets that my partner created, when we had one I was like great we are soooo super organised. 

But now, well now we have one for the honeymoon, one for the wedding, one for the guests, and one for……I don’t actually remember.

Every single week, I hear this voice “how are we doing we keeping up with the spreadsheets darling?”

Darling? Really? Don’t sweet talk me when you know I hate, yes that’s right hate, the word spreadsheet.

Let’s be truthful here, they have helped massively and we have stayed on track, but I just want to go on a huge spending spree! Of course I recommend them to all brides and grooms to be, it’s the only way to stay on top of things.

So don’t worry If I can keep up with them, so can you! Yes it may mean cutting back on the buying, It will be worth it.

But I promise, when this wedding is done, I Danielle will solemnly promise to burn the spreadsheets!

New Low Or Comfortable?

” New Low – The lowest of the low, almost unthinkable, definitely cringe worthy”

Now this post may make some of you laugh, and some of you cringe.

If you’re the cringe worthy type, please proceed to grab a bucket and be sick, whilst reading this.

So let me set the picture for you, it’s a cold dark night and I’m lovely and toasty in bed. I roll over and wake up to feel the dog by me (or so I thought).

In my mind I’m thinking “Awh so sweet she must be cold and trying to get warm”. I reach my hand deep into the covers and stroke my beautiful dog Bonnie for a fair few seconds.

It was only until I realised I was stroking my partners belly hair!

How does this happen?

She's too cute

She’s too cute

Belly hair!! That’s right, hair growing out of his stomach! And me, I stroked that!

Not once, or twice, not even three times, I stroked it a fair few times.

When did I become so comfortable in the relationship to not be freaked out by this?

It’s gross right? Stroking my partners belly hair like its the dog. Of course I wanted to laugh but couldn’t because I would of woken everyone up.

It’s potentially a new low for me and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

But I just can’t stop laughing! It was a very humorous moment.

New Found Laughter For Rugby

“New Found Laughter- When someone, or something makes you laugh so much!”

What have I just witnessed on ITV?

I deiced to watch Rugby for the first time as I’m generally interested and I can’t help but laugh! I know, I know this is a serious sport. But there is something so funny about a bunch of guys tackling each other to the floor.

I just witnessed a poor guy get tackled to the ground and he literally had some guys balls on his head.

He got tea bagged! 

He actually had some guys junk all over his face!

Call me immature but its just so amusing!

I love how these players literally get the crap kicked out of them and they just get up and walk away! No rolling on the floor in ‘agony’ no ‘crying’, nothing! Just a simple nod to the other player like there saying “alright mate you hit me there but its cool, beer later?”

I love it!

I know this is part of the sport, and I think its great!

Still laughing! 

The Equivalent Of Nesting

“Nesting- Generally known as going all crazy with cleaning just before a baby arrives. “

And no mom or dad I’m not pregnant before you get all excited!

So all of you have heard of new moms to be, go into nesting, where they start cleaning before the baby is due to arrive. Well today I done the wedding version of nesting and organised everything wedding related!

The sun was shining, so I took this rare opportunity to go into the shed and start putting everything I needed into boxes.

This is really helpful for brides who are doing their own table centre pieces as you can just allocate a box for each table! Like I have done below!

Organised boxes, quiet mind!

Organised boxes, quiet mind!

Three hours later and I have seven boxes filled with all the items I need to make the perfect table centre pieces.

Beautiful cups and saucers, log slices, books you name it I got it!

I would love to show you all the real deal, but I can’t yet as it’s a secret shhhhh.

But for now you can enjoy and ponder with this little snippet!

Oh so pretty! You no have!

Oh so pretty! You no have!

I’ve had so much fun playing with everything, I didn’t realise I have so much stuff! Which is absolutely fine as I’d rather have too much than too little!

Anyone for afternoon tea? Why not I have enough cups and saucers for everyone! 

No filter needed for this beauty!

No filter needed for this beauty!

I feel so relaxed, and well organised!

The Kindle Slap

“Kindle Slap- When one falls asleep whilst reading and the kindle slaps you in the face”

Kindle owners, book worms, book lovers and so on please tell me I am not the only one who falls asleep whilst reading?

For Christmas my other half got me a kindle paper white, as he quotes ” my books take up far too much room”. It honestly the best thing I have ever been bought!

The fact this tiny weeny little device can store loads of books, literally makes my day, week, month and oh yes year!

As soon as I get in from work, I jump into my pjs (because why the hell not, I’m almost married, love books and have no social life) and grab my kindle, whilst enjoying a cuppa.

So a fair few hours go by, and I feel a little sleepy, I have mastered the art of balancing my Stitch cushion on my knees, placing the kindle on the cushion so I don’t have to hold it. My eyes start to shut, and  I dose off to sleep.

City Of Bones - Shadowhunters <3

City Of Bones – Shadowhunters ❤

Then bam! The kindle falls right into my face, literally slapping me. Of course I wake up in complete shock and startled, quickly look around to make sure no one has seen me. When I say no one I mean the hubby to be!

As painful as it is to be woken up by a kindle slapping you in the face, I still haven’t learnt to stop reading when I’m tired.

Sometimes I think I could be Clary Fray!

Sometimes I think I could be Clary Fray!

Just not feeling it…

“I’m too tired to think, let alone plan – Me”

If I’ve learnt one thing from planning a wedding, its that it’s okay to not want to plan. It’s perfectly okay, to say “you know what sod it, pass me those chocolates and wine”.

Because what is the point of planning a wedding, a event which is all about you and your other half if you are going to hate organising it. It is after all your day, and you are supposed to enjoy it.

There will be days where you just want to make it all wedding related, and you will go crazy over the slightest thing. There will be days, when you decide you no longer want that shade of colour for your table sashes, but instead baby pink is the one! There will most definitely be a day or two…maybe a month where you say I can’t plan no more, just leave me here to eat my weight in chocolate, chinese (Happy Chinese New Year), and crisps. 

It’s so refreshing to not have to think about doing anything wedding related. I love planning our wedding, don’t get me wrong. But days like today I am more than happy to spend it watching Netflix, and counting down the days till we see Mr Grey! Woohoo! 

I also spend days like this writing my book, being physically able to clear my mind of my thoughts is amazing. After I’ve done a good writing session, my mind feels like I’ve been to a spa!

So what are you waiting for? Forget the calories, yes your dress will fit (the amount of stress us brides go through, our dresses will fit), grab the chocolate, order the biggest feast you’ve seen, put on a film and enjoy!

Ta-rah abit!

I just love Fudge!!!

I just love Fudge!!!